Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Yummy/Yucky Pregnancy Side Effects #2 & #3: Boobs and Back

Yummy/Yucky Pregnancy Side Effect #2: Boobs

(If you’re a guy friend who reads this blog for giggles, I ask that you please skip this post.  If you don’t, I’ll know because you won’t be able to look me straight in the eyes ever again!)

They are bodacious and you can’t miss them.  My husband is definitely a fan of this side effect.  It’s neat to some extent to have hooters that you can’t take your eyes off of, but to be honest, I like having a smaller chest that doesn’t try and escape from your clothes.  But for the most part women like this side effect and I get it.  It’s a bit empowering and makes many feel sexy.

However, personally, having these gargantuan things doesn’t make me feel sexy – I feel like a circus freak.  Because I know I am basically a walking milk factory.  I had to stop letting my cat sit on my lap last pregnancy because he would go into a bit of a frenzy when he got a whiff of my aroma.  Creepy, I know.  To boot, I seem to find crumbs in my cleavage on a regular basis and my daughter thinks my cleavage is binky storage.  Oh and cleavage zits, come on, really?

Because these two go hand in hand, I'm including Yummy/Yucky Side Effect #3 in today's post as well...

 Yummy/Yucky Pregnancy Side Effect #3: The Back Transformation

Seriously? NOTHING, unless you always secretly wished you could do the Bruce Banner/Incredible Hulk transformation.

You know the saying “With great power comes great responsibility?,” well with great boobage comes… linebacker shoulders/back.   Ok, it’s not just your boobs that cause this but also weight gain and your expanding rib cage (it expands to help increase your lung capacity during pregnancy so you can take in more oxygen for you and baby).  Regardless, it’s awful and I think I hate this side effect the most.  I thought I could make it until June before this happened or at least until after my friend’s wedding last weekend, but it’s too late for me, the transformation has already taken place and I now slightly resemble Quasimodo 
I’ll miss you most of all back, see you in the fall!

Missed Yummy/Yucky Pregnancy Side Effect #1: Hair?  Here's the link:

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