In the tradition of the book Yummy/Yucky, I’m going to layout what I think are some of the Yummy (Awesome) physical side effects of pregnancy, along with some of the more Yucky (Awful) physical side effects of pregnancy over the next month or so.
Your body goes through incredible changes during pregnancy -- some women get very upset about these changes, others don’t. Despite the following commentary, I really didn’t get too distraught about the changes I experienced (& am experiencing again). The baby and I are in good health and that’s what really matters – you just have to laugh at the other stuff.
Yummy/Yucky Pregnancy Side Effect #1: Hair
Yummy
My hair is pretty thick to begin with, add to that pregnancy hormones (Androgens) and my prenatal vitamins and I have the fastest growing hair in America. You might be saying, “well, what’s wrong with that?” To which I’d respond, “Not a thing, if it were only the hair on my head that was growing at lightening speed!” But alas, it’s not just the hair on my head that is growing out of control. My hair actually looks great and isn’t the problem. (It’s when all my beautiful hair falls out post partum that I get pissed).
Yucky
The hair on other parts of my body is also growing at warp speed--which is truly an issue now that I can’t see over my belly very well. Now, my legs, eyebrows, armpits and bikini line are also in need of weed-whacking much more frequently. I can handle that -- if I can just remember to do it! Out of sight, out of mind, you know? It’s the other places that get me, like my face and belly. I get these little furry sideburns that thankfully aren’t real dark, but they’re still there and make me feel like I should don a top hat, ascot, and cane and talk in a 1800s cockney accent. And the belly hair, what is up with that? By third trimester, I feel more like a Monchichi (a popular 80’s cartoon & doll) than a woman. See picture at right.
Ok, maybe it wasn’t THAT bad, but it felt that way, so I am on belly hair watch now that I am 24 weeks. Thankfully my husband laughed about it, however he did called me “hirsutie pie,” instead of “sweetie pie” for many months. Look it up--it's certainly apropos. A little mean? Maybe. But definitely funny.
Thankfully the crazy hair growth thing is pretty temporary and can be managed. So the deal is you can tweeze, wax and shave all you want. Most docs don’t recommend depilatories and bleaches. Another option that I didn’t find until after Sophie was born was Smooth Away (yes, the infomerical one). I used it to remove the offending sideburns and belly hair post baby. It worked, but a little bit of hair still grew back. You can buy Smooth Away pretty much everywhere now (Target, Walmart, Bed, Bath & Beyond and some drug stores).
Next week - Yummy/Yucky Side Effect #2: Boobs
fuck faced dick
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